The Pharmacy Chick

Flying the coup in retail

Just another Monday

Filed under: Uncategorized — pharmacychick at 12:03 am on Friday, March 29, 2013

Its amusing how Pharmacy Chick attracts morons like a light attracts flies.  Case in point. This guy comes hobbling  in, leans over the counter and seeing both myself and my tech on the phone yells ” ANYBODY HERE?” . when I hang up he hands tosses a script for some oxycodone on the counter telling me its ” comp”. ( short for workman’s comp).  WC encompasses about a dozen different options, so ” comp” isn’t a blanket statement. We have a State comp plan, and a whole bunch of private comp plans.  Each worker is given a claim number and billing instructions after their claim is established and approved. Most are given a rx card if their injury is chronic or long term. ” Richard Head”,  correct?  Yea, but I go by Dick.   Ok, Dick Head, what is your Date of Birth ..which he provides.. Your address…which he provides..any allergies we should profile for you? he huffs a bit…NO…how long is this going to take?

I ignore that comment and ask him for his Accident Fund card if he has one. Are you listening to me? how long is this going to take?  Up to a half hour, longer if you dont have your insurance. Dick. Yea, well, you can call my pharmacy in ( town on opposite side of state) THEY got it there MAN. 

You got their phone number?  No, isnt’ that what you gotta computer for? Cant you just look me up? Well, since you haven’t been to any PC Pharmacies in the nation, you aren’t IN my computer and I have no access to your local pharmacy information. But if you give me the pharmacy phone number I can request your insurance information. Look, that aint my job.

I dont think we are gonna be able to help you today Dick.


Phone Rings and I answer it.  A little old lady asks for the pharmacist and I confirm that I am the pharmacist.  She asks ” Is there a little bug going around”.  OMG…she is back…( head on the counter) …this lady calls every pharmacy around asking if there is a bug going around…and since she forgets WHO she called, she calls BACK and asks again!  Its been a few months since her daily calls started so I had hoped that either the bug finally GOT her or she quit calling. I just say ” NOPE, nothing that I know of”…( frankly, even if ebola was rampant in my town, I wouldn’t tell her!)


A script is called in for a dog, for diazepam…for separation anxiety I suppose.  The owner, a young man picks it up and I am doing the counselling when he asks ” So, what if I take it? Without a beat, I said ” Then your Dog wont get any I suppose…”


And on that same Vein, a lady calls me up and asks me if she should call poison control since her toddler ate a few pieces of dog food.   I told her that while in some cases human food can poison a dog, I know of no cases where a few kernels of dry dog food can poison a human.


I was doing a special counselling session at the request of a doctor, showing a patient how to load and use a Lantus Solostar.  ” You screw on the needle like so, turn the handle to X units and pinch a bit of skin like this ( I lift my shirt to show a bit of tummy–which I tell him about) and then you will inject…etc etc”  ….He was bummed at me because I didn’t ACTUALLY inject myself.  I thought he was kidding…he wasn’t.


Its spring break so there are kids everywhere, small and teens.  A couple of punks are milling around the blood pressure machine.  they delight in bugging each other and making a bunch of noise…both of which piss me off. One asks me ” so, how many Percocets does it take to kill ya?”  Just one if you rip off your drug dealer.


And just when you think its safe to go into the water:  The phone rings and its the deaf relay service:  some guy wants to buy 100 boxes of glucose test strips with a credit card and have me mail it.  REALLY?  does anybody fall for that scam?

Is it closing time YET?