I love to take a walk. As much as I would like to have Mr Chick with me, he seldom enjoys a walk like I do unless he is hauling around a golf bag. All summer long I walk the fairways of the golf course and in the winter I walk the paths hear my house. I haven’t walked as much this winter as I should so this morning I peeked outside and decided “no rain” means “yes walk”. Mr Chick wasn’t stirring yet and I wake up at about the same time each day regardless of when I go to bed so I crawled out of bed, put on my walkers, ankle weights, and fanny pack and left.
It was an unusually quiet morning today. Perhaps the occupants of the houses were still snoozing off the late night revelry bringing in the new year. Perhaps it was the dense fog that enveloped me like a cold wet blanket. Regardless, all I could hear was my feet padding along the asphalt and my breathing as I moved along. Even the birds werent singing yet. One lone woodpecker was beating against the trunk of a tree I couldn’t see for all the fog.For the most part I was the lone occupant on this part of the path.
Walking is a great way to think. Unless you stuff your ears with buds and blare music in them, a walk can be a great way to shake the trash from your head. At first my head was such a mess it seemed “noisy” to me. My internal lists of stuff to do, bills to pay, various thoughts moving around, reliving recent events all were rattling around like a hive full of bees. It was probably a good 20 minutes before I could shake most of the chaos inside. Slowly my brain got quieter.
Sometimes I use my walk times to talk to God and see if he has anything to say to me. I’ll be honest. its hard to talk to God sometimes when I am told he is only a breath away but FEELS like he is completely unreachable because of my life circumstances. My head is busy and I get so wired up in the present and my “stuff” that instead of walking WITH God, I just trudge on like a lone soldier on a mission. I am not very good at resting…either my body or my mind..and letting God speak–in whatever way he “speaks”. And no I am not one of those goofballs that thinks that God talks to me in some George Burns sort of way.
But I wish he would…I think. Perhaps I would be better prepared for those curveballs that I get thrown…or not fall for that temptation that I swear I would never do, but do anyway…or have the perfect words in a difficult situation..instead of bungling it. But no, I get to walk into the daily murky fog hoping that I have been given enough preparedness to not bungle too many things…to speak and act when I should and remain still when I must. I hear people say ” God led me to do this, or say that”…but while I have seen in retrospect how God has orchestrated things , I seldom feel he has used me in any significant way but then again, maybe I am not sensitive enough to know. perhaps someday…maybe this year? Every year is like a new page right??
What kid doesn’t like a brand new coloring book? Each new year is like getting that new book and brand new crayons. And, like that quiet walk in the fog that shakes the trash out of my busy brain, I turn to the first page of my new coloring book. As I crunch along the asphalt and ponder “what ever”… God is picking the first crayon from the box.
I wonder what He will color?