The Pharmacy Chick

Flying the coup in retail

Blind mine eyes! Put some clothes on!

Filed under: Uncategorized — pharmacychick at 10:21 pm on Sunday, August 3, 2008

What is it about summertime that turns people’s brain to chowder when it comes to fashion sense? Since Pharmacy Chick sees a bazillion people every day, I’d thought I’d share some of my own observations of shoppers who passed by in recent days. I swear some people get dressed in the dark…

1. Fat chick in Tube Top: Unless you are 6 years old or disappear when you turn sideways, leave the tube top at home. In fact, why not turn that thing into the rag that it is? I cannot believe anybody ever thought that taking an elastic cylinder of fabric, wrapping around a woman’s midsection and calling it fashion was a good idea. One rogue brat with an attitude and we’ll have the mother of all wardrobe malfunctions! PS Nice rose tattoo by the way

2. Same Woman, bottom half: Form fitting skin tight spandex looks really good on models in fitness magazines…and prepubescent teens . It looks especially scary when I can see the polka dotted underpants underneath.

3. Bra’s serve a useful function. Use one during all four seasons. They come in all sorts of fancy colors and fabrics now. They are practically artwork. Nobody wants to see your flabby breasts. This lady came in and to say that she is big-boned would be an insult to big bones everywhere. She was F.A.T. She heaved her flabbiness on my counter (too tired to stand up?) to ask a question. She had on a stretchy tank top (see previous observation) and nothing else underneath. I have no recollection of the conversation, but I’ll never get over the view.

4. Short-shorts. Lets add just a few more inches please. I’d rather not see your cheeks under your home made cut-offs. AND, Mr Mid-life Crisis, those running shorts from the 80’s looked great 20 years ago when you actually ran. Now that you are flabby and 50, you just look goofy. Buy some bermudas or cargos.

5. Muscle shirts: Unless you have been recently selected for the cover of a fitness magazine, chances are you aren’t the hottie you think you are. You are all sweaty and stinky and I am grossed out by all that shoulder and back hair sticking out. Jane Goodall would hand you a banana. Put a T shirt on.

6. Bikinis in the pharmacy? Wear your beach wear at the beach. Pharmacy Mike might not agree with me on this one (heh heh) , but then again he might especially since all that pizza you ate during the winter resides comfortably on your hips right now.

7. Nylon hose under shorts? WHAT?….and WHY?

8. Socks OR Sandals, not both…unless you live in Montana where I understand socks are usually worn with Birkies.

9. Miscellaneous faux pas: Dark dress socks with tennis shoes. Shorts with dress socks and loafers. Boxers or briefs? I dont care, just keep them INSIDE your shorts please. And if your stomach protrudes more than 3 inches over your belt, kindly have a shirt long enough to cover it up. AND, speaking of shirts, wear one when you come inside the store.

10 Bare Feet. I am sorry, perhaps I come from another era where ” no shirt, no shoes, no service” was on the door of most places, but it seems that I see an awfully lot of bare feet running around. Not only is it unsanitary but its unsafe. There’s a lot of nasty (sharp) stuff that ends up on the floor of a store and in a parking lot. If you cannot stand the idea of shoes, flip flops will do. Once I heard a shriek down the aisle. For some odd reason a lady shopper gave her toddler daughter a big can of tomatoes to hold. She didn’t hold them for long and dropped them directly on the foot of her mother (wearing only a flip flop) Cut clean thru the big toenail. I bandaged her up as best as possible and sent her to urgent care. 2 hours later she came back with rx’s to fill and said “The dr said you did a good job with the bandages”…yea me.

Any other visual offenses YOU’d like to share this summer?



Comment by Stephanie

August 4, 2008 @ 2:50 am

I keep asking my mother why she chooses to wear nylons with capris and shorts. I tell her it looks ridiculous but she says “my legs are too white! I can’t go out like this!” I just don’t understand why people do it. lol


Comment by Pharmacy Mike

August 4, 2008 @ 7:44 am

I agree with you bikinis in the store… mostly because the entirely wrong girls are the ones wearing the bikinis. It seems that the only women who want to wear them are verging on 200 pounds, and the girls that look like they belong in Victoria’s Secret come into the store covered from head to toe.

Who am I kidding? Girls that look like models have no need for a pharmacist. haha.


Comment by Scargosun

August 4, 2008 @ 8:12 am

Old lady perfume in excessive quantities when the a/c is on recirc.

Just No


Comment by Carol

August 4, 2008 @ 6:48 pm

Fat chick in tube top, spandex pants and 6 inch heels. EVERYTHING bounced like jello. Yuck!
Also, baby in leaky diaper and nothing else.
Young man in cut off shorts with NO boxers or briefs. Please, keep the mouse in the house!
Matching mother and daughter in super low rise jeans and super short cropped t shirt. Mom was at least 45 years old. Daughter was maybe 10. NEITHER of them should have been in that get up.


Comment by TiggerBongo

August 4, 2008 @ 9:58 pm

Tattoos! I grew up in Navy bases and thought I was down with tattoos. Now just about EVERYONE has one and most of them are garbage–poorly designed and poorly done. There’s just something about a guy (or girl) with tattoos covering neck, chest and arms that screams “I really don’t plan on making more than minimum wage!”

As for nylons under shorts, I’m guilty I’ll admit. But I have a reason–I ride a bicycle to work and change into a skirt at the store. Thank God the pharmacy has its own bathroom! Struggling into pantyhose is just one more hassle better dealt with at home.


Comment by CPhT

August 5, 2008 @ 5:37 am

I had a 70-something man come in shirtless. It scarred every store employee.

Let’s just say, he was probably built well when he was younger, but now, the skin just sags, and his collarbone is where it is the most tightly stretched. It was scary.


Comment by Frantic Pharmacist

August 5, 2008 @ 7:13 am

Ditto the toddler wearing nothing but a diaper (and running around like a wild thing.) Lots of majorly overweight cleavage too — sometimes it overwhelms!


Comment by The Ole' Apothecary

August 5, 2008 @ 6:29 pm

But I thought that fat-bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round!

An emotional gut reaction from this conservative guy: tattoos suggest to me the following: drug dealing, drug addiction, a proclivity toward violence; savagery; parolees. Perhaps some people I would actually like to know are walking around with these graven images on their flesh, but I am not going to stop to find out who’s who. I’m going to run the other way, and, if on duty in a community pharmacy, I am going to wonder about you the moment you appear. Call it perverse prejudice, but that’s my story that I’m sticking to.


Comment by Jaded Rx Intern

August 5, 2008 @ 9:12 pm

An outfit choice that didn’t offend the eyes, but still attacked my senses.

Working over the weekend, and heard a *squeaky-squeaky-squeaky-squeaky*, first every moment or so, then rapid-fire. Not too uncommon to hear the noise as we’re near the toy aisle, but this was getting annoying. I finally found the culprit – a 2-year-old child with shoes that squeaked with every step, and boy was this kid roaming around the store. Thirty minutes of this and I was ready to rip the shoes off her feet and beat her dipwad mother.


Comment by J

August 7, 2008 @ 1:19 am

The one that got me today was the guy in the sleeveless t-shirt that had the sides cut almost to the bottom. You know what I’m talking about? The shirt had the sides cut on it from the armpits just down to the hem of the shirt. You could see all the rolls. *cringe* *gag* yeah… so not cool.


Comment by Laura Bailey

August 9, 2008 @ 1:07 pm

The other day I had someone with the sleeveless t-shirt with the sides cut almost to the bottom, but ON A WOMAN… sans bra!! I swear it burned out my retinas. It was like a bad car crash, I wanted to look away but I was in a state of shock and couldn’t.


Comment by Lola Cherry Cola

August 12, 2008 @ 3:11 am

At the moment over this side of the water, wearing dark coloured tights with grey shorts is fashionable and looks quite cool and is usually suitable considering our weather. But I gather you mean casual beach type shorts with tights, yeah I’m not quite understanding that one. Cool blog by the way.

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